Of Bottled Emotion

Assalamualaikum and hello xD

What's up people!? GUESS WHAT!?

I'M PROCRASTINATINGGGGGGG

NAAAA JUST KIDDING

NO IM NOT KIDDING

my sister is so pretty! please listen to Fine!

Bayangkan kalau aku tetiba berblog macam ni hahahaha I should be subtly blogging like that. Ni pun bertangguh bagai nak rak sebab siapkan report + essay pastu still in progress preparing for project first year (T.T)

Just wanna to drop by and say hi...?

Kinda.

Aku rasa aku memang takdak disiplin. Why? Kenapa?

Aku asyik ponteng kelas pagi, kelas pukul 9 pagi tu. Bulan Feb kalau buat stats, memang graf kedatangan aku jatuh menjunam ke laut haaaa. Aku tak boleh bangun pagi lama-lama, lepas subuh je terus gulung balik dalam duvet; nak cakap punya malas tu ya Rabbi! Mungkin aku tak cukup tidur barangkali; aku tak tidur nyenyak. Aku tak rasa aku ada insomnia, tapi aku rasa aku kena check balik sebab aku asyik terbangun. Kalau refer graf tidur tu, time REM tu aku terjaga. Dan aku sedar aku tukar posisi badan; betapa susahnya nak tidur dan betapa nikmatnya kalau dah dapat tidur huhu

Hari ni birthday Izfarhan sebenarnya tapi aku pelik kenapa group whatsapp family abah senyap je...mungkin sebab aku wish dah nak dekat pukul 12 jam Malaysia hahahah dah lama tak dengar cerita or gosip keluarga sebenarnya. Kalau group family mama tu aku mute terus haaa sebab mostly makcik suka post yang doa selamat pagi pastu gambar sama setiap makcik. Ada 3 makcik, semua post benda lebih kurang. Belum kira lagi semua makcik aku copy paste message memasing hahahah

Talking about family, my sister is really lucky because she got to come to UK and Paris! Sumpah la aku mana pernah dapat pengalaman gitu lol! Mama pesan doakan adik boleh sambung belajar overseas jugak.. (walaupun aku nak je cakap takyah la overseas duduk Malaysia je hati lapang dan senang)

Dah la aku sensorang membawa nama SMK Mengkuang kat sini. Bila orang tanya sekolah Pulau Pinang kat pulau ka? - aku dah ragu-ragu nak cakap sekolah aku kat mainland tanah seberang hahah mostly orang tak nampak Pulau Pinang tu ada dua part, satu pulau pastu satu tanah besar.  Kak Ecah pun dah final year noks; dah nak balik ke Malaysia pun. Dan tinggal la aku sensorang kat UK membawa nama sekolah luar bandar yang kadang-kadang orang ingat aku buat lawak nama sekolah /tak lawak gaiss, seyes/



Aku tak tahu aku depressed ke, aku homesick ke, aku stress ke apa ke.. yang pasti semalam aku dah selamat menangis, hari ni pun rasanya japgi nak sambung menangis jap (macam schedule pulak haa nak nangis pukul berapa hari apa). Mungkin sebab M'night Jumaat ni, pastu jumaat la jugak nak submit ethics form untuk research project. Minggu depan, Rabu tu ada class test, yang aku sumpah takut gila kalau tak bangun pi buat test kat H1.48a tu. 25% bakhang, nak kaut mana kalau tak mai buat test tu!!!

Aku rasa mungkin aku menangis sebab tengah cuak/takut. Tetiba dah nak habis term 2, pastu dah nak cuti sebulan. Term 3 tu naik je kelas 1-2 minggu PASTU EXAM! Scary sebab kalau tak lulus first year tak boleh sambung second year - dah la biasiswa. Lagi sakit sebab guna duit sendiri jugak untuk hidup kat tanah British ni. Sakit fizikal bertimpa-timpa lagi sebab tak pandai jaga diri - kat Malaysia tak mengada pun macam ni!

Dah la eczema datang balik - memula tu aku punya la ingat kulit ni ada kulat Athlete's Foot tu.. dah siap beli 2 type of ointments; spray and cream. Sekali aku google lagi dan lagi, eczema rupanya. Nasib baik la beli krim eczema dan alhamdulillah ada la perubahan hoho takde la buruk sangat kulitku ini ya Rabbi! Abah pesan control makan pastu aku nak nangis jugak sebab taktahu nak control makan apa lol hehe aku google gak sebab jadi eczema tu pastu ada dua je probability; either allergy or stress. Tapi untuk orang sejenis Anis ni, memang both la sapu heh

Stress & Allergy = my middle name, maybe?

Lately, aku taktahu la kenapa tapi aku perasan mostly memasing pakat ada love interest. To be very honest, I'm afraid of those feelings. I meant, I like the feelings, but not the real thing. Dah semua angka 2 kan kat depan, takkan aku nak baling telur pastu cakap you guys cannot fall in love yet!? /Sumpah la mereng kalau camtu/. Yang aku tahu, aku tak sama dengan orang lain. Ada orang, okay je bercinta nak rak tapi still masuk kelas, fokus pastu score exam. Aku ni dah le tuang kelas, fokus pun asyik ke laut je time lecture - tu pun belum dok berlovey-dovey bagai. So, aku rasa kalau ada perasaan pun, aku nak pujuk sabar je dulu hahahahahah gila tak sabar! Wishlist aku masa single panjang oi~ just aku harap orang sekeliling aku tak letak pressure je la, like tanya ada kawan ke idok, takde boyfriend ke apa love interest ke - saya baru 21 tahun!

did you guys watched Star of the Universe? I enjoyed it so much even though the *cough* plot *cough*

And Nina told me to give this issue a deep thought, "do you need this too?" "are those things important to you?". Truthfully speaking, situation can influence you a lot - in which it happens to me. I don't even have those feelings and I cried for nothing. When I sat and calmed myself, I knew I was sad because of the feeling of being hurt. That's all - nothing else. So I'm afraid that my surrounding is slowly influencing me, calling me to have love interest when I know it's not the time yet and if I do have those feelings, I don't think it's genuine or long-lasting unless he's the one je la. Kalau dah jodoh tu aku nak buat macam mana haha mama pesan, kalau bercinta tu okay je la tapi don't give hope - just put boundaries, reminding the reality; if we are to be together, then we will be together.

things to be done with kim suho oh god he's so handsome what should i do

Sometimes, being twenty and above are scary much; you have to act mature when you're not, you'll have to act childish when you're mature. It's so scary when you have to draw the rules by yourself, have to commit to your responsibility and then bear the risk alone. Unless there are friends that are willing to share your tears, your worries and your happiness - then you're blessed with youth.

Aku nak balik summer break nanti sambut raya insyaaAllah (tiket belum beli ni); maybe aku pakai je baju raya tahun lepas hehe sebab mesti tak sempat nak buat baju raya like 2 weeks before raya hehe

I'm good with no connection - I'm such a random one, so I won't edit much of this update. I'm just being lazy, I don't want to think which picture suits which segments - so I put random pics on the update!

missing you even though you are not breathing in the same air, same land and sharing the same belief - i don't want to stay like this anymore, for real

Okay annyeong ciao goodbye.